So ... What's the Turn On?

Once I realized that there was something much more stimulating about being locked and denied than having my cock free to stroke and cum as I pleased I also began to realize that I had an "inner bottom" that never had its chance to shine.

I mean, over the years I'd bottomed a few times, once to a friend we called Horse - for obvious reasons, and to a married friend who wanted gay ass every so often - he's not really bi - just needed something "different" once in awhile.  However, when I was in relationships, it was always with total bottom boys and even if I was in the mood to bottom, they wouldn't want to.

But, when this man, Kyle, came into my life everything changed. HE was a total top.  He didn't want anything to do with my cock other than keep it locked and denied.  His "philosophy" was that subs were there to serve HIS needs and HIS needs only.  I quickly learned that my needs were to never be spoken of. My mouth and ass were His to own and use as he pleased, when he pleased. And while he was very rough around the edges - a 23 yo man hasn't had enough experience to make a really good Master - I came to realie that I loved serving a man, making him feel good, keeping house, cooking, pleasuring him.

When I lived with him, all my clothing except a pair of shoes, jeans and a tshirt was given away to Goodwill and all I was allowed to wear was my collar, wrist and ankle cuffs.  Often during the week, he'd come home all angry and pissed off and stressed from work (He had a high-pressure job in advertising.) and I'd be in the kitchen getting dinner ready (very 1950's) and he'd grab me, push me face down on the counter or table, whip out his cock, give it a spit lube and shove it in my ass, rape me, and blow a load.  Then he'd go take a shower and come out all relaxed and loving and kissing.  Severe mind-fuck.  this also told me to be cleaned out and lubed for when he came home.

Today, I still feel at my best when I'm locked and denied, on my knees worshipping a man's cock or on my back with my legs in the air feeling a man's cock sliding in and out of me.  ... and if he's kissing me while fucking me ... I'm in Heaven.  Furthermore, if he's kissing me while blowing his load deep inside of me ... its like he's really taking possession of me and I am in ecstasy.